<All that sang to the tune of “ONE WEEK.” Yeah, you know the one.

Wow. I don’t really know what to write. Seriously.

So much has happened in 5 months that it will be nigh impossible to recall everything and make it seem interesting on the internet.

The biggest news is that I moved into a new place with my friend, Jenna from CSB. If you’re a friend, you know this, obviously. If you’re an internet stalker, then you probably already know this as well. I was thinking of posting a video tour on here to show you around. Yeah, I might do that tomorrow. (See you in 7 months.)

Gratuitous Picture of Myself and My New iPad.

Thank you, Steve Jobs.

So how long did I have you going? Two seconds? This is not my actual iPad. I would never ever never ever ever buy an iPad. Ever. It’s my boss from Mill City Press’ iPad. He buys all sorts of new technology for his IT people to play with and work on. Well, it is for work. Kyle, who I just found out is EmGabe’s boss, works on converting books to eBook form and he needs all the eReaders, except nook which I find hilarious, to put the new book files onto and see how they look on the actual eReader. And you can kinda see my desk at my internship. Isn’t it nice??? You can’t really see it, so I’ll understand if you say, “Where’s the desk??” It’s under all those piled up books. And look!! My computer and a new book to add to armchairinterviews.com!!

For the past few weeks I have been freaking out about my hair. I think the people at HPB think I only know how to put my hair up in a bun (see the picture above to know what “bun” entails kind of). I have been vehemently debating with myself if I should just go get it all chopped off. I decided that I’m going to call my stylist tomorrow and make an appointment for a dye job (duh!) and a style and then discuss my options with my stylist, Kristin, who knows my hair better than I do even though I’ve only gone to see her about 4 times before. She’s awesome. Seriously.

Speaking of new, I desperately need new clothes. With only 2 pairs of jeans, I am wearing my wardrobe thin. Very very thin. And my trusty old brown corduroys are starting to show a lot of wear and tear. All my t-shirts are stained. I basically have one bra that’s not falling apart. In other words, I NEED TO GO SHOPPING LIKE NOW. What with my money issues coming to my attention over the last weeks, though, it’s even harder for me to say to myself, maybe I do need to update my wardrobe. It was so easy at B&N – I needed to wear business casual – I had many many sweaters and shirts to wear with 3 different pants. HPB is much much much more casual. I’m back to old t-shirt and jeans style that I can rock so well.

Conclusion: I need a whole new look. Like real fast. So many things have changed in my life in the past months, I’m ready for my look to change as well. I mean, I’ll always be a t-shirt and jeans girl, but I need new t-shirts and new jeans. Maybe I’ll even branch out and get capris. . . . CRAZY, RIGHT?

Immediately after writing that sentence, I got really, unspeakably tired. So now I’m going to go to bed.

But not before I post this post and tell you all that I’m happy you’re in my life one way or another – in virtuality or in reality. If you’re someone I don’t see too often or that I haven’t talked to in a really long time, please leave a comment and let me know what’s going on with you. Chances are, I have no idea that you’re reading my blog!

But I did watch the entirety of season 3 of Veronica Mars this weekend. Maybe not the entire season, but a good 13 or 14 episodes annnnnnnd it’s made me realize something. But first: Is it silly to believe that a TV show can make you have a major realization about your personality? Then color me a loony because this girl came to a conclusion.

I desperately miss people.

That’s a tad broad and probably pretty obvious by now.

My two problems: 1.) Money – as discussed in my previous post and 2.) not being with people constantly not having the ability to be with my friends constantly.

More specifically, the college lifestyle. The reason Veronica Mars is so important to me right now is probably because season 3 follows Veronica and company through their first year of college.

Cast of "VMARS" season 3

Now, I realize that their college experience was much different than mine, i.e. I’m no teen detective and I don’t have numerous boys fighting over me, and, oh, my college experience was actual life, not a teen televised dramedy, but a lot of the same principles are the same. I miss living in a dorm/campus apartment. I miss the socializing until 3am. I miss the stupid campus activities that I did all freshman year. I miss the parties/bars. I miss the constant possibility of running into one of my many crushes (there were many). And most importantly – I miss the colorful array of lively individuals that made up my daily life.

It’s been one year exactly since I’ve graduated from college. May 9th, 2009. A year ago tonight, I was at Sal’s block party, or whatever it was called (I forget), congratulating everyone and then going to Perkins with my friends for a late night meal after bar-close. Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Ummm, it seems to work a little differently for me. I haven’t lived with any of my peers in a year. A YEAR. So why should I care so much now about analyzing my current thought patterns and processes? Because I’m slowly becoming mushy.

Not literally.

It’s weird, but since living at home with my family, I have regressed. I have sunk back into a steady stream of watching too much TV-on-DVD, but not talking deeply to people about anything. Oh, and as stated in the previous post, spending too much money. I’ll go to work, I’ll see my coworkers, then I’ll see my friends, but it’s not as personal as it used to be. When I do see my friends, it feels strained, less “friendly” if you know what I mean. I don’t mean that we’re mean to each other, it’s just not as easy for me somehow. Like I’m performing for them. This is not a bad thing. When living with people, I totally drop my guard and become myself for them. When I haven’t been living with my peers, I’ve noticed that I’m much more conscious of how I’m acting and what I’m saying. Not in all cases. For example, on Friday, I went out with Elissa and Ashley and got positively smashed and I was surely myself then and not feeling any sort of awkwardness at all.

Now, I’m not saying that I can’t be myself around my friends. Definitely not. I’m totally myself around my friends. But it’s harder to get into the swing of things now that I’m not constantly around people all the time like in college. Upon first encountering said friend for the evening, I think too much about how I never see that friend anymore. I feel like I’m more of the person I was in high school than I was in college. I’ve always been an extrovert, but now I’m a live-with-my-parents-and-hardly-see-my-friends-because-of-my-fucked-up-work-schedule-and-my-lazy-ass extrovert.

Living with your peers is really really good. It socializes you. It helps you grow as an individual.

Back to my original point: Not living with people my own age has also made me feel like the movies and TV are real life. I walk around my house after watching an episode of Veronica Mars and believe that I have cameras trained on me. Not actually. I’m not some crazy person who thinks she lives in TV land, but TV life is so much more interesting than my own life. I’m living in a I-wish-my-life-were-a-movie-land and then train hasn’t come to pick me up. That’s partly why I feel like I need to move out. Even if Jenna and I end up watching a lot of TV b/c that’s what we do, at least it will be with someone my own age. My friend. I should be thankful my life isn’t like a TV show – I could never handle all the drama. But it would be really nice to have my pick of a couple of hot boys. And to have her awesome wardrobe. Damn, I love her clothes.

I just want to reiterate because I feel like some people might get saddened to read this, it’s nothing personal. Seriously. I just need to be assimilated to real life again and stop moping around watching Veronica Mars, wishing my life would get more interesting, and do something about it. Anyone know a good detective to help me find a more interesting life?

ba dum tssssssssssssh.

My last post was particularly depressing and I’m afraid it’s not going to be better this time around. This past week has been really weird. Monday was my internship. It’s starting to get to me that I’m not getting paid. Now, don’t get me started on how great an opportunity this is and I should be ecstatic to have it because, deep down, I am. In reality, I spend way too much money in real life on a daily basis and not only do I spend hours doing their work for them, I also spend $7 every time I go in just to park in fucking downtown Minneapolis.  If you know me at all, you know that I spend money without batting an eyelash on things I don’t need (i.e. DVDs), but when it comes to things like parking, I suddenly am down and out.

Now that I think about it, I think my problem is money.  Well, can’t I just be disappointed in money in general? I do have a full time job now, which is INCREDIBLE, but I’m by no means raking in the dough. Money seems to be everything right now and I bet that’s what’s depressing me. Even right now, it makes me feel better to write out my bad money feelings. There is constantly a ball of guilt in my stomach from the feeling that I’ve just spent money on anything. I tell myself, “I’m going to be really proud of myself if I don’t spend any money today.” And then, by the end of the day, I’ll have bought lunch or gone to the drugstore or worst of all: bought some DVD or book from work. Even though I get a 50% discount on most things, it still adds up. Working at Normandale was not glamorous, but at least I was making really good money to sit around and do nothing. Believe me when I say “really good money.” Really really good money. Now I’m working much harder and only getting a fraction of what I made last year and before.

The fact that I’m going to be moving out doesn’t help. Don’t get me wrong, I really can’t wait to finally be moving on and I’m excited to be living with Jenna, but it’s another expense to worry about. But I’m going to start thinking positively about this whole money crap; since I will be spending money on rent, I should start budgeting – and saving. It’s just so hard to say “no” to “Want to go to Chipotle during break?”

So this is what my aunt was talking about when she said “if it’s not hard, it’s not worth it.” I am aware of the fact that I sound like a whiney bitch, but I’m trying to figure out what makes me happy in life and working fo free don’t cut it! I am obviously going to stick with my internship until they decide what to do with me, but money has seriously been weighing heavily on mind lately and I end up feeling bad about it about 20 times a day. Not an exaggeration, by the way. 20+.

Now, I can’t be 100% positive, but I’m pretty sure that a lot of this money shat is coming from my mom being unemployed. As you all probably know – she has been out of work for about a month now and it’s seriously starting to grate on everyone. Most of all her, obviously. I’ve come home more than once to one of her nervous breakdowns where she repeats that she doesn’t know how the bills are going to get paid. After hearing her worry about it aloud, and noticing that my dad has seriously scrimped on grocery shopping the past 3 weeks, my mind has not not (double negative intended) been able to think about money. Guilty as I feel, 98% of the time, I will never decline an invitation to go out to eat or buy a movie or whatever, so if we have plans to hang out, let’s just watch a movie at home and make dinner or something. I want to try to get better.

Sorry for being depressing 2 posts in a row. I kept waiting to feel better about stuff to write a new post, but I’m glad I decided to post. It’s awesome to get this huge weight off my chest and at the same time let you all know what’s up.

Now for something happy!

It was Karen’s birthday yesterday and I had a helluva fun time with my cronies. We went to the Kitty Cat Klub in Dinkytown. I discovered a new favorite drink: raspberry vodka and pineapple juice. It is fucking delicious.

Here’s my favorite picture from the night (tune in for more on FB):

Karen, Katie, Me, and Ali

Aren’t we precious?

At the beginning of my post, I never know what I want to write about and then, by the end, I have an additional 4 things I want to discuss. Too bad. UNTIL NEXT TIME.

In which time I will have inevitably forgotten what I wanted to talk about this time. [Fuck my blog.]

I’m kind of into it because I now work for a super green company (Half Price Books) and they push the eco-friendly ways. I even got a shirt that says: “take a s(eco)nd to think: Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.” to wear to work today. (I work in like an hour, so I thought I’d post a post before-hand.)

Anyway, I’m feeling slightly out of touch with people I used to see a lot. It’s making me feel sad. Like, I’ll notice pictures of people hanging out over the weekend on Facebook and it’s like, “Aw. Sad. I wish I had a life, too.” But then I realize that I’m in a transitionary period of my life right now. I’m working about 50 hours a week and in my free time, when I have it, it’s hard to plan things. It feels chaotic, because I find it difficult to make plans ahead of time which I used to like to do a lot. Now it’s more of a “I’ll call you if I’m not so tired after work” sort of hanging out, which doesn’t work all the time. I used to not like when people did that to me and now I am doing it. Gah, the horrors of working crazy hours!

My friend and now coworker, Gwen, mentioned when I first started that HPB’s hours wreck havoc on social lives and now I know exactly what she means. At B&N, I only worked 20 hours a week and I could be super flexible with those hours. Like, if something didn’t work for me, I could get someone to work it, or I could always pick up a shift here and again. Since HPB is a full time job, it’s nearly impossible to be flexible unless you ask off for something way ahead in advance.

For instance, I am going to 2 weddings in June: one on June 12th for Amber and Matt and one on June 19th for Catherine and Ryan. Both of their weddings are going to be a long road trip away and I will have to spend the night in the respective cities if I want to have any fun with my friends. Which I do. So, I had to fanagle a way to use up all my accrued vacation days from my introductory period and use them for those 2 wedding days and then I have the other day of the weekend off. If anyone remembers, I have to work at least one shift during the weekend. It’s in the contract. So, now that I have those two weekends off, I’ll have to work a couple weekends the whole weekend through. And I’m happy to do it because I love Amber and Catherine and weddings and I can’t wait for them, but you can imagine how much planning goes into trying to get a weekend off. It’s madness!

And you must realize that I get one day off during the week because I automatically work one day a weekend, but that day is for my internship. So, essentially, instead of getting a 2 day weekend like most normal working adults, I get one day off and so far they’ve been packed.

Basically, I’m sorry if I haven’t seen you for a long time. Generally when I make plans for that day, I think of the people who live closest to me or that would probably be available. But really, I’ve mostly just hung out at home on my compie and lamented the fact that I’m too tired to go out and get a life with my friends.

Half Price Books has been going really well. I am fitting in just great. It’s such a huge job without seeming to be huge. Like, I learn about 20 new things everyday which include policies, procedures, and store norms. Soon, I am going to be trained in how to take care of the Nature section. This will entail bringing out new books, keeping the section neat and organized, and practically being an expert on all the sorts of books belong in “Nature.” My subsections are Pets, Farming, gardening, and other little nitpicky kind of naturey things.

As for the people at HPB, they are for the most part, pretty awesome. Like, I’ve already been invited to game nights at my shift leader’s house. He was supposed to have one tonight, but it’s not until 10pm and I’m already in my pajamas. (Note, the time is almost 9:30.) I’ll go next week for sure. I’m happy because everyone is friends outside of work. I get to see Gwen more. (For those who don’t know, she studied abroad with me in London Fall 2007 and I got to be really good friends with her.) I live so close, I can go home for lunch and save money. Needless to say, I have already eaten at Jimmy John’s and Chipotle due to proximity. And once at Noodles. But I still go home most days.

My internship is also going well. I’m feeling drained currently, though. I am working on making contact lists with 100 organizations on the list. This is extremely difficult. It took me about 4 hours the other day to get 40. 4 hours. Gah, and on Wednesday, I’m going in and working all day again to start a whole new one and it’s going to take me forever. And the press release (I already started, but need to edit) is going out on Friday to these 100 contacts. I want to be a good intern, but it’s like, I don’t have time to breathe now. Last week, I worked 10 days straight. 10 days! Full time! It’s no wonder I’m tired.

But I’m building character. And it’s like my aunt says, “If it’s hard work, you know it’s worth it.” And that’s what I have to keep telling myself. Like, I love my internship, but it’s getting hard to be motivated for it since I’m not getting paid and the work isn’t quite what I was expecting it to turn out to be. I thought I’d be doing editing, but I’m doing PR stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I like my “supervisors” a lot and it’s a fun, laid back place to go to once a week and most of all, it’s great experience and a huge opportunity for me, but right now, I’m just tired. Just tired. And wanting to get paid. I wish I could go in more than once a week, but then I would be pushing the limit of hours I can work for them and pushing myself way too hard.

When I’m not working, I’m usually on my computer. On my Tumblr site. It. Is. Addicting. Seriously, if you want to have a life, do not start a Tumblr.

But I suppose I have had a very full life the past few weeks. I’ve hung out with people when I don’t work the closing shift. Saturday was Amber’s bachelorette (side note: worpress doesn’t think “bachelorette” is a word; it has a red squiggly under it, hmmmmmmm) party. Before the party, which started at 5, I met Chelsea and Jenna in Albertville to shop around. The party was in Otsego, so Albertville was conveniently close. I bought a few necessary items, including jeans. It’s so nice to be able to wear jeans to work again, but now I can’t get away with just owning 2 pairs. I need more than that! Next on the shopping list: new shoes! We went to the Converse store and I had to refrain from purchasing some awesome $20 yellow All Stars because I already own 2 pairs and I am highly unable to wear them to work seeing as to that they have no support whatsoever and usually my feet start to hurt after about an hour of standing in them. For my whole teenage and adult life, I’ve liked having a pair of black shoes and a pair of brown skate shoes, so I’ll have a pair for whatever t-shirt I’m wearing that day. Well, my black ones now are starting to fall away from the bottoms. I stepped in a puddle once and wondered why my feet were soaking; and my brown ones are becoming ratty on the insides – like, the fabric is rubbing away and I get the hard underbelly of the shoes. No good! Sooooooo, I need to start saving money to purchase some new awesome skate shoes.

I wear skate shoes because they make my feet look cute. Really cute. And I usually like the boy shoes better.

See, aren’t these shoes cute?

Is it weird that I'm freaking out by how cute this is?

So, I work every single day this week and then I am going to Catherine’s bachelorette party on Saturday and then working on Sunday. Tonight is the first time that I’ve seriously felt the effects of working so much. Like, I used to work full time at Normy, but I could sit down whenever I wanted and it only got really busy and hard for two to three weeks of rush – school starting. Now, I’m on my feet all day with a smile plastered to my face for the customers. But I really am enjoying Half Price Books a lot and I’m so happy for every opportunity given to me.

Until next time!

All day, I was in this incredibly bouncy, upbeat mood and now I’m getting tired and this post was very hard to write because I’m slowly losing my mental capabilities, so I’m listening to Evanescence. Judge me all you want, but dayim, Amy Lee can sing. Her voice is gorgeous.

Anyway, besides the point. The point is this:

I HAVE NEWS.

Kind of.

1.) Thanks to an email I sent out some time ago to tell you all about my new job, my blog has reached CULT STATUS. I would like to thank everyone for reading and seeming interested in my life. For the most part, it’s just a really, really, really easy way to let my friends what’s going on in my life and I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read it! That’s why you’re my friend: You are AWESOME.

2.) I am five days deep in Half Price Books. I have completed a full work week. The first forty hours of HPB work have been worked by me. So many ways to say it, but it’s true: As of today, I have worked a week of work at my new job! w00t. I know everyone’s wondering how it went. Well, the answer is: GREAT! Some things of note:

• People don’t get trained to buy books from the public until after their introductory period (6 to 8 weeks) is over. This way the employee can familiarize themselves with the sorts of books/DVDs/CDs/magaziness, etc. people buy. It’s the easiest way for the employee to see what sorts of items he/she needs to buy from the public. So yeah.
• B/c of bullet point 1, I have only been trained in on the register, where I have been noting the sorts of items the customers like to buy. I feel really confident on the register. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m a damn good cashier. A damn fine one, too. Seriously.
• I loathe mass markets now. Which are called “paperbacks” at HPB. That took getting used to. At B&N, they were of little to no importance and now I’ve come to find that people NEED THEM RIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME AND THERE NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST 6 OF THEM FOR EACH PURCHASE B/C OMG, THEY ARE SO CHEAP! THEY’RE HALF PRICE.
• This job is the first time in a while that relies a lot on subjectivity and that is one thing about buying items from people – it’s hard for me to be subjective. I like direction. It’s going to take a lot of getting used to not having direction on what’s okay to buy and what’s not. A lot of it. I’m slightly worried, but it’s so far away (6 to 8 weeks), that I really shouldn’t dwell on it, but yeah. I’m worried for the future.
• I ate lunch with my first new coworker friend! I already started joking around with some of them. The employees are really funny and down to earth. Not all of them, but so far, none of them have rubbed me the wrong way so far, which is a good sign. Working in customer service makes one realize that the workers are fake about 75% of the day (at least that’s how I get by in customer service), but at the end of the day, they’re still really agreeable people and want you to like them, too.

As for my internship:

3.) It’s going well. Like, really, really well. For those of you that are like, “But Emily, what do you do?” I answer thusly.

• First, I am not an editorial intern, like I thought I would be. I am the office’s intern. Mill City Press is a self-publisher and all their editors are freelance, because the self-publishers allows anyone to publish a book, no matter if it sucks balls, which a lot of the books do. They get freelance editors to edit the books instead of hiring full time editors because not every book needs an editor, etc, etc. So, I am a generic intern and am working with the 2 publicists.
• As of now, my main duty is to compile a list of contacts, also called the “galley list” for a particular advanced reader copy (ARC) of a book. The ARC is an almost-finished version of the final book. An author can decide if he or she wants to send their book to 25 contacts before it’s actually published to garner interest and publicity. They dream that TV shows, like Oprah, will pick up on how great the book is when in reality, we send it out to a bunch of different types of media (never Oprah – unless the author asks) and usually only hear back from one contact that handles book reviews. Yeah. S’great. I also write the pitch letter to those contacts. The pitch letter has the synopsis of the book, a little about the author, and a blurb about why the book would be great for said media outlet.
• I am planning on going into the office about twice a week, but that is probably going to be impossible now that I have a full time job, so my new goal is to go in once a week. My publicists are fine with that. We all communicate by IM when we are working, so when I decide to work from home, which I do about an additional once or twice a week, I sign in and ask a bunch of questions and update them on what I’m up to.

Last Monday, when I last worked on a bunch of stuff for Emily (my supervisor, boss-lady), I finished 2 pretty big things I was supposed to do: my first pitch letter (remember what that is?) and a spreadsheet on a different project I’m working on. When I was IMing Emily, she told me that I don’t need to overwork myself because I then asked her what else they would like me to do. She reminded me that I’m not getting paid, nicely, of course. And then she told me that they call me the “superintern” around the office. ISN’T THAT AWESOME?!?1?1!? Apparently, the other intern – which I don’t think I mentioned; there’s another intern, by the way, who does the exact same stuff I do – is really quiet, doesn’t ask any questions, doesn’t tell Emily what’s she working on, was 40 minutes late her first day, left early her first day, and did not set up another time to come in with Emily, like I usually try to do 4 to 5 days ahead of time.

So enough about WORK and how much I’m awesome at it . . .

3.) A few of you know that I am restless in my parents’ home and have been thinking about moving out sometime soon. Well, as of tonight, I decided I’m moving out tomorrow!!! . . . . Just kidding. More like in July or August! I will be living with, drum roll please: JENNA USELMAN.

That’s right, my school-fellow and roommate of the last 2 years of college will be my roommate as she pursues her degree of School Counseling and as I pursue my life of not having a life by working strange hours at HPB (hopefully, I’ll still be working there – cross your fingers). Soon, I shall start my search for an apartment. My question to you is: How does one go about looking for an apartment that will be available in 3 to 4 months? Is it possible? Seriously, I’m asking. Someone should respond with the answer. Thank you.

4.) SOMETHING RANDOM: TV isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it’s one of the things I feel really behind on. Like, I haven’t watched a Twins game yet even though I felt excited about it earlier this year. I haven’t caught myself up on 30 Rock or Modern Family, my two favorite shows on TV right now. And OMG, did Glee start again? I totally forgot until tonight that I should have watched it last week! What is WRONG with me?

So those are some juicy tidbits from my life the past week or so. I wish I had a Web cam, so I could take a picture of my hot self right now, waving to you or something, but this will have to do:

Pudding - the smiling puppy.

Woof.

See the rest of this guy’s amazing Chatroulette screenshots.

Oh man, I’m dying over here.

Karaoke was a blast with my Barnsies. April 1st, my B&N coworkers and I, obviously, gathered at the Vegas Lounge for a night of rabble-rousing karaoke. Yes, I did sing. I’ve never done public karaoke before in my life and I was so nervous. So, so, so, so, so nervous. I sang “Smile” by Lily Allen by myself and “Inside Out” by Eve 6 with my coworker, Mary. By the time I sang “Inside Out,” I was, what a frat boy would say: hammered, and I’m not sure I sounded all that great, but it was near bar-close and most of the patrons at the bar were nasty old guys who didn’t care and my coworkers who also didn’t care. It was a really great turnout. We had made an event page on FB, and about 15 people said they’d attend, but about 25 or so people showed up throughout the course of the night.  Overall, I drank a lot and had a lot of fun with all my coworkers. My manager, Jerry, ended up showing up. He’s hilarious and a total goofball. We took 2 shots of whiskey together and right when the bar closed, he tried to get me to take another. It was the first drink I had said “no” to all night. Of course, I forgot my camera, so I don’t currently have any pictures, but it’s cool. The night will live in my hazy, hazy memories.

So, yes, I am going to miss the people at B&N a lot. They are fun-loving, funny, endearing people and it will be sad to leave them. The membership program is something I will not miss. Come to think of it, I should have asked HPB if they have anything like the membership program – basically begging people to become members with us so our stats go up. This was the only part of B&N which I was not a fan of, besides my feet hurting a lot and the minor pay. I’m just gonna say that I can’t wait for a paid lunch hour. I mean, that shit is legit!